| It warms the cockles of my heart to know
| |
| | Anthropological Department, and asked him
|
| that in this great country of ours any
| |
| | to conduct a little survey of his own.
|
| little boy can grow up to be a president
| |
| | (You may remember Dr. Jing as the
|
| who can't keep his line item veto in his
| |
| | inventor of the much-maligned, sponge
|
| pants.When the news broke that President
| |
| | toilet seat in the late seventies.)
|
| Bill Clinton had been accused of having
| |
| | Always willing to do his part for science
|
| "an improper sexual relationship" with a
| |
| | and an old drinking buddy, Dr. Jing
|
| 21-year old White House intern named
| |
| | surveyed 12 coeds who attend his freshman
|
| Monica Lewinsky, and that he supposedly
| |
| | Apolitical Ethics class, 4 lunchroom
|
| asked her to lie to cover up the affair,
| |
| | ladies he found unloading a dog food
|
| I didn't quite know what to think. So, as
| |
| | truck out back of the cafeteria, and 3
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| I usually do in times of quandary, I let
| |
| | female colleagues who were smoking
|
| the little voices in my head fight it
| |
| | Virginia Slims cigarettes and drinking
|
| out.The voting Republican in me did a
| |
| | International Coffee in the teacher's
|
| little dance and said, "Aha, we've got
| |
| | lounge. Dr. Jing asked these women a
|
| him now! Slick Willy is going down!
| |
| | series of carefully-researched questions
|
| Somebody get Ronald Reagan on the
| |
| | concerning the allegations against the
|
| phone!"The pragmatist in me (he's the
| |
| | President. Of the women surveyed:89%
|
| serious looking one with no friends)
| |
| | believe Clinton is guilty of sexual
|
| said, "Now hold on a minute, you guys.
| |
| | misconduct, but if he promises to never
|
| Let's not pass judgement until we have
| |
| | play the saxophone again, they will
|
| all the facts. Don't forget what we did
| |
| | forgive him.
|
| to Michael Jackson and poor Tonya
| |
| | 53% found Bill Clinton sexually
|
| Harding!"The Aaron Spelling in me said,
| |
| | appealing in a "used car salesman sort of
|
| "What an evil vixen this Monica Lewinsky
| |
| | way."
|
| must be! She probably concocted the whole
| |
| | 71% think the only woman in Washington
|
| ugly story because President Clinton,
| |
| | Clinton isn't sleeping with is his wife.
|
| being the champion of morality that he
| |
| | And 99% said that if Bill Clinton did
|
| is, spurned her sleazy attempts at
| |
| | have sex with a woman other than his wife
|
| seduction. What a feather in her Gucci
| |
| | and did ask her to lie to cover his
|
| cap that would have been, seducing the
| |
| | behind, his behavior is not surprising
|
| President of the United States! I'm
| |
| | because it was... typically male. Damn.
|
| surprised she didn't try to sing at his
| |
| | As a man who has painted himself into
|
| birthday party!"And that little part of
| |
| | more corners than Wile E. Coyote, here's
|
| me which is a member in good standing of
| |
| | my advice for Bill Clinton: Interrupt the
|
| the "I'm A Guy So Sue Me Club" said,
| |
| | last episode of Seinfeld with a live,
|
| "Why, Bill Clinton, you old son of a
| |
| | televised press conference, then step up
|
| gun..."What I find surprising about these
| |
| | to the microphone and say: "Okay,
|
| allegations is that the focus is not on
| |
| | America, you got me. I admit it. I had
|
| whether there was an improper sexual
| |
| | sex with Gennifer Flowers and Monica
|
| relationship, but on whether Billy Boy
| |
| | Lewinsky and I asked them both to lie
|
| told Miss Monica to lie about it if
| |
| | about it. And I tried to have sex with
|
| questioned. Telling her to lie under oath
| |
| | Paula Jones, but her nose kept getting in
|
| could lead to charges of obstruction of
| |
| | the way! So now that you know the truth,
|
| justice and perjury, offenses punishable
| |
| | America, I say to you, 'So what?' You
|
| by fines, imprisonment, and forced
| |
| | want to impeach me? You want me to step
|
| exposure to Janet Reno's Panama City
| |
| | down? Well, before you do, let me say
|
| vacation video.In other words, it's okay
| |
| | just two words: Al Gore.""Mr. President!
|
| to have sex with someone other than your
| |
| | Mr. President! Sam Donaldson, ABC
|
| spouse, just don't lie about it if an
| |
| | News!""Hold your water, Sam. I'm not
|
| independent counsel happens to stop by
| |
| | answering any questions tonight. I'm
|
| with a six pack of beer and a briefcase
| |
| | already late for quarter beer and wings
|
| full of subpoenas.A recent network news
| |
| | night at Hooter's and after that I'm
|
| poll showed that 58% of women surveyed
| |
| | being made an honorary member of the
|
| felt that, even if the sexual allegations
| |
| | Kennedy family. So good night, all, and
|
| against Clinton are true, it has no
| |
| | God bless America."Perhaps Secretary of
|
| bearing on his ability to run this
| |
| | Defense William Cohen put it up best when
|
| country. The respondents called Clinton's
| |
| | he told Larry King: "I would have to say
|
| behavior, "typically male," which means:
| |
| | he (Clinton) is one of the smartest
|
| he's a man, that's what they do. I'm
| |
| | people I've ever met. His grasp of
|
| personally insulted by such
| |
| | complex situations is incredible. He
|
| generalizations because I know the
| |
| | stays on top of everything. I like a
|
| typical male couldn't get himself
| |
| | hands-on president."Don't we all, Mr.
|
| embroiled in a sex scandal with a 21-year
| |
| | Cohen. Don't we all.From "Small Business
|
| old woman if he tried! Uh, so I
| |
| | Q&A" With Tim Knox
|
| hear.Having lost all faith in the network
| |
| | Tim Knox is a nationally-known
|
| news polls, I contacted my old friend and
| |
| | entrepreneur, author, speaker, and radio
|
| mentor, Dr. Beechwood A. Jing, Professor
| |
| | show host.
|
| Emiritis at the South Hampton Institute
| |
| | Tim has helped hundreds of entrepreneurs
|
| of Technology's Hammond-Eggar
| |
| | realize their business dreams.
|