Voice in Narrative and Dialogue - A Contrast of Writing Styles

One of the nice things about being an author is that				want to see
we can break				the distinction scrapped, but that's another
any rule we want. (I just did.) It's part of our job				story.)The dialogue portion of VIGILANTE JUSTICE
description.				isn't difficult to
Language changes through usage -- definitions,				describe. The hero is a self-destructive cop named
spelling, grammar				Gary Drake. He
-- and authors can help it do this. But on the other				is based on a real-life cop, my little brother. So his
hand, we				dialogue
have to have some sort of agreement on the				was easy because, in my mind, I always heard Gary
language or we won't				speaking in
be able to talk to each other.When we as authors				Barry's voice.For my other characters, I had to find
break a rule or two, it's not because we're				some other voices. For
ignorant. It's because we have reasons to break				example, the voice of Doctor Garrett Allison is, to
them. That's one				me, that of
of the joys of writing.Having said that, now I'm				Michael Jordan.That's right, people. When I write, I
going to explain some rules. There are				literally hear voices in my
two types of writing in your novel. There is your				head.As a beginning writer, and not a very good
narrative and				one, I read some advice
there is your dialogue. The rules for the two are not				somewhere saying you might want to cut photos
the same.For example, comma use. In dialogue, it's				out of magazines and
not so difficult. Put				use them when writing your physical description, in
in a comma wherever your speaker pauses in his				case you can't
her speaking. In				form a mental picture of your characters. I've used
narrative, you have to consult the style guides and				this technique,
hope that you				and with some modification I've extended it to
and your editor, working as a team, can sort it all				voices.As an author, you should always play to your
out.NARRATIVEA cop thriller like my VIGILANTE				greatest strengths
JUSTICE has a simple set of				while working to improve your weaknesses. I know
rules for the narrative portion. Third-person,				many authors who
straightforward				think visually, and I envy them that. I've read some
writing, light on adjectives and adverbs, easy to				stuff that
read and				can make you feel you're skiing down a
grammatically correct. Sentence fragments are				snow-covered mountain when
acceptable if				it's actually 85 degrees in your flat and you've never
communication is achieved, and you'll note that I use				skied in
them often				your life.One author told me that when he writes, he
in this article. Why? Simply because it's more				literally sees movies
effective that				in his head, then just has to type them really fast
way.To a degree the genre will help you identify				because
what's appropriate.				that's how they're playing. Lucky him! My novels first
For a cop drama, write in the dry style of a				come to me
journalist. For				in snippets of dialogue. Every character has the
horror, a bit of hyperbole may be acceptable in the				same voice at
most dramatic				that stage. (My voice, of course.)Tight dialogue is
sections. For romance (not my genre), you can				one thing I enjoy when I read. Here are the
probably use lots				characters at some sort of verbal showdown. I
more adjectives (swollen, heaving, throbbing, etc.)				know them, I know
than you'd				their motives, I can read between the lines and
normally dare.When I wrote RISING FROM THE				know what's being
ASHES, the true story of Mom raising				left unsaid. I can just feel the tension in the air. I'm
my brother and me alone, I tried to adopt a "childlike				not so
voice"				much mentally picturing bulging veins and angry
early in the narrative. As the character of Michael				glares as I am
the				just feeling the spoken words.I also have an
storyteller grew older, I abandoned that childlike				excellent memory of voices. I always have. Like a
quality. (An				dog remembers scents or an artist colors, it seems,
entire book of that would get old fast				I can
anyway.)When I wrote AN AMERICAN REDNECK IN				remember voices. If I hear an unfamiliar song on the
HONG KONG, the humorous				radio but
sequel, I once again used first person narrative. But				I've ever heard that singer before, I can tell you
the				who it is. I
narrative of RISING is first person only in that it				can tell you that the guy doing the voice of Gomez
uses "I"				Addams in the
instead of "Michael." Michael is only a camera. It still				original Addams Family cartoon is now doing one of
follows				the voices in
all the rules of "conventional" narrative. In REDNECK,				the Tasmanian Devil's cartoon series. I can spot an
I threw				actor like
most of the rules out the window.I used what one				Andreas Katsulas no matter what species of
author referred to my as "conversational" tone to				rubberized alien he's
maximum effect in REDNECK. This fellow author felt				playing, because I recognize his voice, although really
like he wasn't				that's no
so much reading my book as just listening to me tell				great challenge in his case.(For the record, if you've
some stories				read THE CHRONICLES OF A MADMAN,
over a few beers. That's exactly what I				Ahriman looks and sounds like Andreas Katsulas.
wanted.When I wrote the sequel to REDNECK,				Clyde Windham is
another bit of humor called				Dennis Franz. Wendy Himes is some girl who sold me
WHO MOVED MY RICE?, I chose to keep that				some horse
same narrative style,				feed about 15 years ago.)But just "hearing" the
which I'd spent three years perfecting in my				voices (if you're able) isn't enough. The
newsletter.In RISING, while I was the "first person"				words themselves will be different depending on
character, I wasn't				who's speaking
really the book's focus. In REDNECK and RICE, I am.				them, even if they're relaying the same
Center stage,				information.To get back to VIGILANTE JUSTICE,
in the spotlight. Using more of a "dialogue" style in				Gary Drake doesn't use a lot of
what should				words. He almost never describes his own feelings,
have been "narrative" allowed me to focus the				and if he does
reader's attention				he always feels guilty about it. He speaks with a
on the first person to a greater degree than simply				Southern drawl.
describing him				He tends to use a single swear word, and that word
ever could. You may love me or you may hate me,				is "f*ck."Marjorie Brooks, on the other hand, mentions
but you'll know				feelings and uses
me and you'll laugh at me. Or, in the case of RICE,				whichever swear word is the most accurate, except
you'll feel my				that she never
frequent confusion. I had to write that from "my				says "f*ck." Doctor Allison doesn't use as many
perspective"				contractions as
because it was often the only one I understood.If				the rest of us do. These are things I kept in mind as
you want to see such a technique used to maximum				I wrote
effect, I				their dialogue.Who remembers Mr. Spock? His speech
recommend A MONK SWIMMING by Malachy				sounds like written language,
McCourt. (I read it after				very grammatical and correct, and that's deliberate.
writing REDNECK, by the way.) It's about an actor				He's a
who gets drunk				scientist, he's logical, and for him language is a tool to
and does very bad things to himself and his family,				be used
and it's				with as much precision as possible. That isn't just a
amazing just how much I laughed out loud reading it.				different
Doesn't				style of dialogue; it helps define his character.In THE
sound like a funny subject, does it? It's not, and yet				CHRONICLES OF A MADMAN, Ahriman used fewer
it is,				contractions
thanks to his unconventional narrative style.To tell				than the rest of us and he avoided sentence
you the truth, I don't even think McCourt "wrote"				fragments. He
that				probably even knew the difference between who
book. I think he just said it all into a tape recorder				and whom or lie and
and				lay. That's because he's intelligent, you see. It kinds
transcribed it later. It reads that much like "a guy at				of goes
the pub				with the territory when one is evil incarnate.During
telling a tale." If he used the grammar checking				an edit I did of a sci-fi book, I saw that the author
function in				wasn't
MSWord, I bet it underlined every sentence. And,				using contractions in dialogue. I made many
bright fellow				suggestions that he
that he is, he ignored them all and didn't change a				change the dialogue of the humans to use those
word.If you're going to use a more conversational				contractions,
tone in your				except when military officers were giving orders,
narrative, don't think that means you just write				because
something down				order-giving officers tend to be more "serious" and
and don't have to edit it. You still have to organize				"thoughtful"
your				than folks just being regular folks.I also suggested to
thoughts, and that means rewriting. While your style				this author that he change nothing about the
may be				"stilted" speech patterns of his aliens. English isn't
unconventional, you have to make the ideas easy				their
for the reader to				native language, you see, and one thing I've noticed
follow.(I'm not entirely serious when I say McCourt				from living
just spoke into a				in China is that the locals don't use nearly as many
tape recorder, and even if he did that doesn't mean				contractions
the rest of				as I do. So I thought that added realism. Plus, the
us can get away with it.)In the case of narrative,				contrast
you have the choice. If you want to				should help the readers keep everybody straight
spotlight the storyteller to maximum effect, you can				even if they aren't
go with				consciously aware of why.I remember in one edit
first person and let the storyteller's narrative and his				where I read some character saying, "I am
dialogue				an historian." Oh, I hate that phrase. I hate anyone
read the same. If you'd prefer to "move the				ever putting
camera" back a bit,				"an" in front of a word that begins with the
make the narrative conventional in contrast to the				consonant "h." It's
dialogue. As a				terribly pretentious and arrhythmic. As I kept reading
rule, this reader likes contrast, because he gets				the
bored reading				book, I quickly learned that the character in question
the same thing over and over again unless the style				is
is really				terribly pretentious. Nobody else in the book was
special. Or perhaps you can find a point somewhere				throwing "an"
in between.Every story has a way that it should be				in front of "h" words. It was a deliberate contrast on
told for maximum effect.				the
Maximum effect in the author's eyes, of course, as				author's part, and it worked quite
it's a				nicely.CONCLUSIONI suppose the point of all this is,
subjective thing. Keep it in mind as you write. Make				remember the difference
the call,				between narrative and dialogue.In the case of
stick to it, change it if it's not working. It might even				narrative, you're simply trying to describe what
be okay				happens. There is a famous quote of some sort
to be inconsistent, but only if you do so deliberately.				that says, "Great
Just keep				writing is like a window pane." Stick to that maxim
stuff like "ease of reading" and "maximum effect" in				unless you
mind and be				feel you have a good reason not to. If you've got
creative.DIALOGUEHave you ever read a book				what it takes
where the dialogue reads like narrative?				to make your writing style superior to the
I hope you haven't. But as an editor I've seen such				conventional, and if
things, and				your story allows it, let that style be an asset of
they're very ugly.Do you know why they're so ugly?				your writing.
Because they remind the reader				Otherwise, just stick to the rules until you master
of the one thing an author does not want to remind				them.In the case of dialogue, you're trying to write
the reader of.				something that
Namely, that every character on the page is a				sounds like what the characters would actually say,
puppet under the				but a bit
author's control.As readers, we put that thought				more organized because "real" speech can be boring.
aside so we can enjoy reading.				Give every
"Willing suspension of disbelief," to quote the phrase				character his/her/its own voice.Am I joking when I
an English				say "its?" Not entirely. THE CHRONICLES OF A
teacher used when describing the performance of				MADMAN contains a short story, written in first
Shakespeare's				person from my
plays. If the author ensures that the reader can't				dog's viewpoint. But then again, I would never call
suspend				Daisy an
disbelief, the book will not be read. Stilted dialogue is				"it."There's a stylistic decision you can make in
one of				narrative, by the
the quickest ways to make that happen.I've decided				way. I always refer to animals as "he" or "she."
that writing dialogue is the hardest thing we do.				Some authors
It's certainly not something we can go look up in a				always use "it."In dialogue, you can let some
style manual				characters always say he or she,
like Strunk or Turabian.What are the rules? "Make it				and let others always say it, to contrast the feeling
sound real." But with the corollary,				with the
"not too real because people always say um and er				unfeeling. (My heroes never call an animal "it.")In the
and crap like				end, the goal is always the same. Make your writing
that." Oh yeah. That explains everything! End of my				as
article,				easy to read as you can. Keep that in mind, and
right?Nope. I'm still writing it.Ideally, the greatest of				always keep
the great creators of dialogue will have				learning, and you won't go wrong.Copyright 2005,
every character "speaking" in a voice so distinctive				Michael LaRoccaMichael LaRocca's website at was
that he/she				chosen by WRITER'S DIGEST as one of The 101
need never identify the speaker. Okay, that's				Best Websites
enough fiction.				For Writers in 2001 and 2002. His response was to
Back to reality. None of us are writing dialogue that				throw it
well, are				out and start over again because he's insane. He
we?People use a lot more contractions in speech				teaches
than in writing.				English at a university in Hangzhou, Zhejiang
They're faster. More sentence fragments, too.				Province,
People very often				China, and publishes the free weekly newsletter
use the wrong version of lie/lay or who/whom in				WHO MOVED
speaking. (I				MY RICE?
never use "whom" in speaking or writing because I

Kcot

Voice in Narrative and Dialogue - A Contrast of Writing Styles