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Voice in Narrative and Dialogue - A Contrast of Writing Styles

One of the nice things about being an never use "whom" in speaking or writing
author is that we can break because I want to see
any rule we want. (I just did.) It's the distinction scrapped, but that's
part of our job description. another story.)The dialogue portion of
Language changes through usage -- VIGILANTE JUSTICE isn't difficult to
definitions, spelling, grammar describe. The hero is a self-destructive
-- and authors can help it do this. But cop named Gary Drake. He
on the other hand, we is based on a real-life cop, my little
have to have some sort of agreement on brother. So his dialogue
the language or we won't was easy because, in my mind, I always
be able to talk to each other.When we as heard Gary speaking in
authors break a rule or two, it's not Barry's voice.For my other characters, I
because we're had to find some other voices. For
ignorant. It's because we have reasons example, the voice of Doctor Garrett
to break them. That's one Allison is, to me, that of
of the joys of writing.Having said that, Michael Jordan.That's right, people.
now I'm going to explain some rules. When I write, I literally hear voices in
There are my
two types of writing in your novel. head.As a beginning writer, and not a
There is your narrative and very good one, I read some advice
there is your dialogue. The rules for somewhere saying you might want to cut
the two are not the same.For example, photos out of magazines and
comma use. In dialogue, it's not so use them when writing your physical
difficult. Put description, in case you can't
in a comma wherever your speaker pauses form a mental picture of your
in his/her speaking. In characters. I've used this technique,
narrative, you have to consult the style and with some modification I've extended
guides and hope that you it to voices.As an author, you should
and your editor, working as a team, can always play to your greatest strengths
sort it all out.NARRATIVEA cop thriller while working to improve your
like my VIGILANTE JUSTICE has a simple weaknesses. I know many authors who
set of think visually, and I envy them that.
rules for the narrative portion. I've read some stuff that
Third-person, straightforward can make you feel you're skiing down a
writing, light on adjectives and snow-covered mountain when
adverbs, easy to read and it's actually 85 degrees in your flat
grammatically correct. Sentence and you've never skied in
fragments are acceptable if your life.One author told me that when
communication is achieved, and you'll he writes, he literally sees movies
note that I use them often in his head, then just has to type them
in this article. Why? Simply because really fast because
it's more effective that that's how they're playing. Lucky him!
way.To a degree the genre will help you My novels first come to me
identify what's appropriate. in snippets of dialogue. Every character
For a cop drama, write in the dry style has the same voice at
of a journalist. For that stage. (My voice, of course.)Tight
horror, a bit of hyperbole may be dialogue is one thing I enjoy when I
acceptable in the most dramatic read. Here are the
sections. For romance (not my genre), characters at some sort of verbal
you can probably use lots showdown. I know them, I know
more adjectives (swollen, heaving, their motives, I can read between the
throbbing, etc.) than you'd lines and know what's being
normally dare.When I wrote RISING FROM left unsaid. I can just feel the tension
THE ASHES, the true story of Mom raising in the air. I'm not so
my brother and me alone, I tried to much mentally picturing bulging veins
adopt a "childlike voice" and angry glares as I am
early in the narrative. As the character just feeling the spoken words.I also
of Michael the have an excellent memory of voices. I
storyteller grew older, I abandoned that always have. Like a
childlike quality. (An dog remembers scents or an artist
entire book of that would get old fast colors, it seems, I can
anyway.)When I wrote AN AMERICAN REDNECK remember voices. If I hear an unfamiliar
IN HONG KONG, the humorous song on the radio but
sequel, I once again used first person I've ever heard that singer before, I
narrative. But the can tell you who it is. I
narrative of RISING is first person only can tell you that the guy doing the
in that it uses "I" voice of Gomez Addams in the
instead of "Michael." Michael is only a original Addams Family cartoon is now
camera. It still follows doing one of the voices in
all the rules of "conventional" the Tasmanian Devil's cartoon series. I
narrative. In REDNECK, I threw can spot an actor like
most of the rules out the window.I used Andreas Katsulas no matter what species
what one author referred to my as of rubberized alien he's
"conversational" tone to playing, because I recognize his voice,
maximum effect in REDNECK. This fellow although really that's no
author felt like he wasn't great challenge in his case.(For the
so much reading my book as just record, if you've read THE CHRONICLES OF
listening to me tell some stories A MADMAN,
over a few beers. That's exactly what I Ahriman looks and sounds like Andreas
wanted.When I wrote the sequel to Katsulas. Clyde Windham is
REDNECK, another bit of humor called Dennis Franz. Wendy Himes is some girl
WHO MOVED MY RICE?, I chose to keep that who sold me some horse
same narrative style, feed about 15 years ago.)But just
which I'd spent three years perfecting "hearing" the voices (if you're able)
in my newsletter.In RISING, while I was isn't enough. The
the "first person" character, I wasn't words themselves will be different
really the book's focus. In REDNECK and depending on who's speaking
RICE, I am. Center stage, them, even if they're relaying the same
in the spotlight. Using more of a information.To get back to VIGILANTE
"dialogue" style in what should JUSTICE, Gary Drake doesn't use a lot of
have been "narrative" allowed me to words. He almost never describes his own
focus the reader's attention feelings, and if he does
on the first person to a greater degree he always feels guilty about it. He
than simply describing him speaks with a Southern drawl.
ever could. You may love me or you may He tends to use a single swear word, and
hate me, but you'll know that word is "f*ck."Marjorie Brooks, on
me and you'll laugh at me. Or, in the the other hand, mentions feelings and
case of RICE, you'll feel my uses
frequent confusion. I had to write that whichever swear word is the most
from "my perspective" accurate, except that she never
because it was often the only one I says "f*ck." Doctor Allison doesn't use
understood.If you want to see such a as many contractions as
technique used to maximum effect, I the rest of us do. These are things I
recommend A MONK SWIMMING by Malachy kept in mind as I wrote
McCourt. (I read it after their dialogue.Who remembers Mr. Spock?
writing REDNECK, by the way.) It's about His speech sounds like written language,
an actor who gets drunk very grammatical and correct, and that's
and does very bad things to himself and deliberate. He's a
his family, and it's scientist, he's logical, and for him
amazing just how much I laughed out loud language is a tool to be used
reading it. Doesn't with as much precision as possible. That
sound like a funny subject, does it? isn't just a different
It's not, and yet it is, style of dialogue; it helps define his
thanks to his unconventional narrative character.In THE CHRONICLES OF A MADMAN,
style.To tell you the truth, I don't even Ahriman used fewer contractions
think McCourt "wrote" that than the rest of us and he avoided
book. I think he just said it all into a sentence fragments. He
tape recorder and probably even knew the difference
transcribed it later. It reads that much between who and whom or lie and
like "a guy at the pub lay. That's because he's intelligent,
telling a tale." If he used the grammar you see. It kinds of goes
checking function in with the territory when one is evil
MSWord, I bet it underlined every incarnate.During an edit I did of a
sentence. And, bright fellow sci-fi book, I saw that the author wasn't
that he is, he ignored them all and using contractions in dialogue. I made
didn't change a word.If you're going to many suggestions that he
use a more conversational tone in your change the dialogue of the humans to use
narrative, don't think that means you those contractions,
just write something down except when military officers were
and don't have to edit it. You still giving orders, because
have to organize your order-giving officers tend to be more
thoughts, and that means rewriting. "serious" and "thoughtful"
While your style may be than folks just being regular folks.I
unconventional, you have to make the also suggested to this author that he
ideas easy for the reader to change nothing about the
follow.(I'm not entirely serious when I "stilted" speech patterns of his aliens.
say McCourt just spoke into a English isn't their
tape recorder, and even if he did that native language, you see, and one thing
doesn't mean the rest of I've noticed from living
us can get away with it.)In the case of in China is that the locals don't use
narrative, you have the choice. If you nearly as many contractions
want to as I do. So I thought that added
spotlight the storyteller to maximum realism. Plus, the contrast
effect, you can go with should help the readers keep everybody
first person and let the storyteller's straight even if they aren't
narrative and his dialogue consciously aware of why.I remember in
read the same. If you'd prefer to "move one edit where I read some character
the camera" back a bit, saying, "I am
make the narrative conventional in an historian." Oh, I hate that phrase. I
contrast to the dialogue. As a hate anyone ever putting
rule, this reader likes contrast, "an" in front of a word that begins with
because he gets bored reading the consonant "h." It's
the same thing over and over again terribly pretentious and arrhythmic. As
unless the style is really I kept reading the
special. Or perhaps you can find a point book, I quickly learned that the
somewhere in between.Every story has a character in question is
way that it should be told for maximum terribly pretentious. Nobody else in the
effect. book was throwing "an"
Maximum effect in the author's eyes, of in front of "h" words. It was a
course, as it's a deliberate contrast on the
subjective thing. Keep it in mind as you author's part, and it worked quite
write. Make the call, nicely.CONCLUSIONI suppose the point of
stick to it, change it if it's not all this is, remember the difference
working. It might even be okay between narrative and dialogue.In the
to be inconsistent, but only if you do case of narrative, you're simply trying
so deliberately. Just keep to describe what
stuff like "ease of reading" and happens. There is a famous quote of some
"maximum effect" in mind and be sort that says, "Great
creative.DIALOGUEHave you ever read a writing is like a window pane." Stick to
book where the dialogue reads like that maxim unless you
narrative? feel you have a good reason not to. If
I hope you haven't. But as an editor you've got what it takes
I've seen such things, and to make your writing style superior to
they're very ugly.Do you know why the conventional, and if
they're so ugly? Because they remind the your story allows it, let that style be
reader an asset of your writing.
of the one thing an author does not want Otherwise, just stick to the rules until
to remind the reader of. you master them.In the case of dialogue,
Namely, that every character on the page you're trying to write something that
is a puppet under the sounds like what the characters would
author's control.As readers, we put that actually say, but a bit
thought aside so we can enjoy reading. more organized because "real" speech can
"Willing suspension of disbelief," to be boring. Give every
quote the phrase an English character his/her/its own voice.Am I
teacher used when describing the joking when I say "its?" Not entirely.
performance of Shakespeare's THE CHRONICLES OF A
plays. If the author ensures that the MADMAN contains a short story, written
reader can't suspend in first person from my
disbelief, the book will not be read. dog's viewpoint. But then again, I would
Stilted dialogue is one of never call Daisy an
the quickest ways to make that "it."There's a stylistic decision you
happen.I've decided that writing dialogue can make in narrative, by the
is the hardest thing we do. way. I always refer to animals as "he"
It's certainly not something we can go or "she." Some authors
look up in a style manual always use "it."In dialogue, you can let
like Strunk or Turabian.What are the some characters always say he or she,
rules? "Make it sound real." But with the and let others always say it, to
corollary, contrast the feeling with the
"not too real because people always say unfeeling. (My heroes never call an
um and er and crap like animal "it.")In the end, the goal is
that." Oh yeah. That explains always the same. Make your writing as
everything! End of my article, easy to read as you can. Keep that in
right?Nope. I'm still writing mind, and always keep
it.Ideally, the greatest of the great learning, and you won't go
creators of dialogue will have wrong.Copyright 2005, Michael
every character "speaking" in a voice so LaRoccaMichael LaRocca's website at was
distinctive that he/she chosen by WRITER'S DIGEST as one of The
need never identify the speaker. Okay, 101 Best Websites
that's enough fiction. For Writers in 2001 and 2002. His
Back to reality. None of us are writing response was to throw it
dialogue that well, are out and start over again because he's
we?People use a lot more contractions in insane. He teaches
speech than in writing. English at a university in Hangzhou,
They're faster. More sentence fragments, Zhejiang Province,
too. People very often China, and publishes the free weekly
use the wrong version of lie/lay or who newsletter WHO MOVED
whom in speaking. (I MY RICE?




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