| One of the nice things about being an author is that | | | | want to see |
| we can break | | | | the distinction scrapped, but that's another |
| any rule we want. (I just did.) It's part of our job | | | | story.)The dialogue portion of VIGILANTE JUSTICE |
| description. | | | | isn't difficult to |
| Language changes through usage -- definitions, | | | | describe. The hero is a self-destructive cop named |
| spelling, grammar | | | | Gary Drake. He |
| -- and authors can help it do this. But on the other | | | | is based on a real-life cop, my little brother. So his |
| hand, we | | | | dialogue |
| have to have some sort of agreement on the | | | | was easy because, in my mind, I always heard Gary |
| language or we won't | | | | speaking in |
| be able to talk to each other.When we as authors | | | | Barry's voice.For my other characters, I had to find |
| break a rule or two, it's not because we're | | | | some other voices. For |
| ignorant. It's because we have reasons to break | | | | example, the voice of Doctor Garrett Allison is, to |
| them. That's one | | | | me, that of |
| of the joys of writing.Having said that, now I'm | | | | Michael Jordan.That's right, people. When I write, I |
| going to explain some rules. There are | | | | literally hear voices in my |
| two types of writing in your novel. There is your | | | | head.As a beginning writer, and not a very good |
| narrative and | | | | one, I read some advice |
| there is your dialogue. The rules for the two are not | | | | somewhere saying you might want to cut photos |
| the same.For example, comma use. In dialogue, it's | | | | out of magazines and |
| not so difficult. Put | | | | use them when writing your physical description, in |
| in a comma wherever your speaker pauses in his | | | | case you can't |
| her speaking. In | | | | form a mental picture of your characters. I've used |
| narrative, you have to consult the style guides and | | | | this technique, |
| hope that you | | | | and with some modification I've extended it to |
| and your editor, working as a team, can sort it all | | | | voices.As an author, you should always play to your |
| out.NARRATIVEA cop thriller like my VIGILANTE | | | | greatest strengths |
| JUSTICE has a simple set of | | | | while working to improve your weaknesses. I know |
| rules for the narrative portion. Third-person, | | | | many authors who |
| straightforward | | | | think visually, and I envy them that. I've read some |
| writing, light on adjectives and adverbs, easy to | | | | stuff that |
| read and | | | | can make you feel you're skiing down a |
| grammatically correct. Sentence fragments are | | | | snow-covered mountain when |
| acceptable if | | | | it's actually 85 degrees in your flat and you've never |
| communication is achieved, and you'll note that I use | | | | skied in |
| them often | | | | your life.One author told me that when he writes, he |
| in this article. Why? Simply because it's more | | | | literally sees movies |
| effective that | | | | in his head, then just has to type them really fast |
| way.To a degree the genre will help you identify | | | | because |
| what's appropriate. | | | | that's how they're playing. Lucky him! My novels first |
| For a cop drama, write in the dry style of a | | | | come to me |
| journalist. For | | | | in snippets of dialogue. Every character has the |
| horror, a bit of hyperbole may be acceptable in the | | | | same voice at |
| most dramatic | | | | that stage. (My voice, of course.)Tight dialogue is |
| sections. For romance (not my genre), you can | | | | one thing I enjoy when I read. Here are the |
| probably use lots | | | | characters at some sort of verbal showdown. I |
| more adjectives (swollen, heaving, throbbing, etc.) | | | | know them, I know |
| than you'd | | | | their motives, I can read between the lines and |
| normally dare.When I wrote RISING FROM THE | | | | know what's being |
| ASHES, the true story of Mom raising | | | | left unsaid. I can just feel the tension in the air. I'm |
| my brother and me alone, I tried to adopt a "childlike | | | | not so |
| voice" | | | | much mentally picturing bulging veins and angry |
| early in the narrative. As the character of Michael | | | | glares as I am |
| the | | | | just feeling the spoken words.I also have an |
| storyteller grew older, I abandoned that childlike | | | | excellent memory of voices. I always have. Like a |
| quality. (An | | | | dog remembers scents or an artist colors, it seems, |
| entire book of that would get old fast | | | | I can |
| anyway.)When I wrote AN AMERICAN REDNECK IN | | | | remember voices. If I hear an unfamiliar song on the |
| HONG KONG, the humorous | | | | radio but |
| sequel, I once again used first person narrative. But | | | | I've ever heard that singer before, I can tell you |
| the | | | | who it is. I |
| narrative of RISING is first person only in that it | | | | can tell you that the guy doing the voice of Gomez |
| uses "I" | | | | Addams in the |
| instead of "Michael." Michael is only a camera. It still | | | | original Addams Family cartoon is now doing one of |
| follows | | | | the voices in |
| all the rules of "conventional" narrative. In REDNECK, | | | | the Tasmanian Devil's cartoon series. I can spot an |
| I threw | | | | actor like |
| most of the rules out the window.I used what one | | | | Andreas Katsulas no matter what species of |
| author referred to my as "conversational" tone to | | | | rubberized alien he's |
| maximum effect in REDNECK. This fellow author felt | | | | playing, because I recognize his voice, although really |
| like he wasn't | | | | that's no |
| so much reading my book as just listening to me tell | | | | great challenge in his case.(For the record, if you've |
| some stories | | | | read THE CHRONICLES OF A MADMAN, |
| over a few beers. That's exactly what I | | | | Ahriman looks and sounds like Andreas Katsulas. |
| wanted.When I wrote the sequel to REDNECK, | | | | Clyde Windham is |
| another bit of humor called | | | | Dennis Franz. Wendy Himes is some girl who sold me |
| WHO MOVED MY RICE?, I chose to keep that | | | | some horse |
| same narrative style, | | | | feed about 15 years ago.)But just "hearing" the |
| which I'd spent three years perfecting in my | | | | voices (if you're able) isn't enough. The |
| newsletter.In RISING, while I was the "first person" | | | | words themselves will be different depending on |
| character, I wasn't | | | | who's speaking |
| really the book's focus. In REDNECK and RICE, I am. | | | | them, even if they're relaying the same |
| Center stage, | | | | information.To get back to VIGILANTE JUSTICE, |
| in the spotlight. Using more of a "dialogue" style in | | | | Gary Drake doesn't use a lot of |
| what should | | | | words. He almost never describes his own feelings, |
| have been "narrative" allowed me to focus the | | | | and if he does |
| reader's attention | | | | he always feels guilty about it. He speaks with a |
| on the first person to a greater degree than simply | | | | Southern drawl. |
| describing him | | | | He tends to use a single swear word, and that word |
| ever could. You may love me or you may hate me, | | | | is "f*ck."Marjorie Brooks, on the other hand, mentions |
| but you'll know | | | | feelings and uses |
| me and you'll laugh at me. Or, in the case of RICE, | | | | whichever swear word is the most accurate, except |
| you'll feel my | | | | that she never |
| frequent confusion. I had to write that from "my | | | | says "f*ck." Doctor Allison doesn't use as many |
| perspective" | | | | contractions as |
| because it was often the only one I understood.If | | | | the rest of us do. These are things I kept in mind as |
| you want to see such a technique used to maximum | | | | I wrote |
| effect, I | | | | their dialogue.Who remembers Mr. Spock? His speech |
| recommend A MONK SWIMMING by Malachy | | | | sounds like written language, |
| McCourt. (I read it after | | | | very grammatical and correct, and that's deliberate. |
| writing REDNECK, by the way.) It's about an actor | | | | He's a |
| who gets drunk | | | | scientist, he's logical, and for him language is a tool to |
| and does very bad things to himself and his family, | | | | be used |
| and it's | | | | with as much precision as possible. That isn't just a |
| amazing just how much I laughed out loud reading it. | | | | different |
| Doesn't | | | | style of dialogue; it helps define his character.In THE |
| sound like a funny subject, does it? It's not, and yet | | | | CHRONICLES OF A MADMAN, Ahriman used fewer |
| it is, | | | | contractions |
| thanks to his unconventional narrative style.To tell | | | | than the rest of us and he avoided sentence |
| you the truth, I don't even think McCourt "wrote" | | | | fragments. He |
| that | | | | probably even knew the difference between who |
| book. I think he just said it all into a tape recorder | | | | and whom or lie and |
| and | | | | lay. That's because he's intelligent, you see. It kinds |
| transcribed it later. It reads that much like "a guy at | | | | of goes |
| the pub | | | | with the territory when one is evil incarnate.During |
| telling a tale." If he used the grammar checking | | | | an edit I did of a sci-fi book, I saw that the author |
| function in | | | | wasn't |
| MSWord, I bet it underlined every sentence. And, | | | | using contractions in dialogue. I made many |
| bright fellow | | | | suggestions that he |
| that he is, he ignored them all and didn't change a | | | | change the dialogue of the humans to use those |
| word.If you're going to use a more conversational | | | | contractions, |
| tone in your | | | | except when military officers were giving orders, |
| narrative, don't think that means you just write | | | | because |
| something down | | | | order-giving officers tend to be more "serious" and |
| and don't have to edit it. You still have to organize | | | | "thoughtful" |
| your | | | | than folks just being regular folks.I also suggested to |
| thoughts, and that means rewriting. While your style | | | | this author that he change nothing about the |
| may be | | | | "stilted" speech patterns of his aliens. English isn't |
| unconventional, you have to make the ideas easy | | | | their |
| for the reader to | | | | native language, you see, and one thing I've noticed |
| follow.(I'm not entirely serious when I say McCourt | | | | from living |
| just spoke into a | | | | in China is that the locals don't use nearly as many |
| tape recorder, and even if he did that doesn't mean | | | | contractions |
| the rest of | | | | as I do. So I thought that added realism. Plus, the |
| us can get away with it.)In the case of narrative, | | | | contrast |
| you have the choice. If you want to | | | | should help the readers keep everybody straight |
| spotlight the storyteller to maximum effect, you can | | | | even if they aren't |
| go with | | | | consciously aware of why.I remember in one edit |
| first person and let the storyteller's narrative and his | | | | where I read some character saying, "I am |
| dialogue | | | | an historian." Oh, I hate that phrase. I hate anyone |
| read the same. If you'd prefer to "move the | | | | ever putting |
| camera" back a bit, | | | | "an" in front of a word that begins with the |
| make the narrative conventional in contrast to the | | | | consonant "h." It's |
| dialogue. As a | | | | terribly pretentious and arrhythmic. As I kept reading |
| rule, this reader likes contrast, because he gets | | | | the |
| bored reading | | | | book, I quickly learned that the character in question |
| the same thing over and over again unless the style | | | | is |
| is really | | | | terribly pretentious. Nobody else in the book was |
| special. Or perhaps you can find a point somewhere | | | | throwing "an" |
| in between.Every story has a way that it should be | | | | in front of "h" words. It was a deliberate contrast on |
| told for maximum effect. | | | | the |
| Maximum effect in the author's eyes, of course, as | | | | author's part, and it worked quite |
| it's a | | | | nicely.CONCLUSIONI suppose the point of all this is, |
| subjective thing. Keep it in mind as you write. Make | | | | remember the difference |
| the call, | | | | between narrative and dialogue.In the case of |
| stick to it, change it if it's not working. It might even | | | | narrative, you're simply trying to describe what |
| be okay | | | | happens. There is a famous quote of some sort |
| to be inconsistent, but only if you do so deliberately. | | | | that says, "Great |
| Just keep | | | | writing is like a window pane." Stick to that maxim |
| stuff like "ease of reading" and "maximum effect" in | | | | unless you |
| mind and be | | | | feel you have a good reason not to. If you've got |
| creative.DIALOGUEHave you ever read a book | | | | what it takes |
| where the dialogue reads like narrative? | | | | to make your writing style superior to the |
| I hope you haven't. But as an editor I've seen such | | | | conventional, and if |
| things, and | | | | your story allows it, let that style be an asset of |
| they're very ugly.Do you know why they're so ugly? | | | | your writing. |
| Because they remind the reader | | | | Otherwise, just stick to the rules until you master |
| of the one thing an author does not want to remind | | | | them.In the case of dialogue, you're trying to write |
| the reader of. | | | | something that |
| Namely, that every character on the page is a | | | | sounds like what the characters would actually say, |
| puppet under the | | | | but a bit |
| author's control.As readers, we put that thought | | | | more organized because "real" speech can be boring. |
| aside so we can enjoy reading. | | | | Give every |
| "Willing suspension of disbelief," to quote the phrase | | | | character his/her/its own voice.Am I joking when I |
| an English | | | | say "its?" Not entirely. THE CHRONICLES OF A |
| teacher used when describing the performance of | | | | MADMAN contains a short story, written in first |
| Shakespeare's | | | | person from my |
| plays. If the author ensures that the reader can't | | | | dog's viewpoint. But then again, I would never call |
| suspend | | | | Daisy an |
| disbelief, the book will not be read. Stilted dialogue is | | | | "it."There's a stylistic decision you can make in |
| one of | | | | narrative, by the |
| the quickest ways to make that happen.I've decided | | | | way. I always refer to animals as "he" or "she." |
| that writing dialogue is the hardest thing we do. | | | | Some authors |
| It's certainly not something we can go look up in a | | | | always use "it."In dialogue, you can let some |
| style manual | | | | characters always say he or she, |
| like Strunk or Turabian.What are the rules? "Make it | | | | and let others always say it, to contrast the feeling |
| sound real." But with the corollary, | | | | with the |
| "not too real because people always say um and er | | | | unfeeling. (My heroes never call an animal "it.")In the |
| and crap like | | | | end, the goal is always the same. Make your writing |
| that." Oh yeah. That explains everything! End of my | | | | as |
| article, | | | | easy to read as you can. Keep that in mind, and |
| right?Nope. I'm still writing it.Ideally, the greatest of | | | | always keep |
| the great creators of dialogue will have | | | | learning, and you won't go wrong.Copyright 2005, |
| every character "speaking" in a voice so distinctive | | | | Michael LaRoccaMichael LaRocca's website at was |
| that he/she | | | | chosen by WRITER'S DIGEST as one of The 101 |
| need never identify the speaker. Okay, that's | | | | Best Websites |
| enough fiction. | | | | For Writers in 2001 and 2002. His response was to |
| Back to reality. None of us are writing dialogue that | | | | throw it |
| well, are | | | | out and start over again because he's insane. He |
| we?People use a lot more contractions in speech | | | | teaches |
| than in writing. | | | | English at a university in Hangzhou, Zhejiang |
| They're faster. More sentence fragments, too. | | | | Province, |
| People very often | | | | China, and publishes the free weekly newsletter |
| use the wrong version of lie/lay or who/whom in | | | | WHO MOVED |
| speaking. (I | | | | MY RICE? |
| never use "whom" in speaking or writing because I | | | | |