| "Masturbation ... is not approved of the Lord nor this | | | | religion, unfortunately. But some perperated by scam |
| church, regardless | | | | runners. Lets take |
| of what may be said by those whose 'norms' are | | | | a look at the most important ones.1. Masturbation is |
| lower", President | | | | against the will of god.Bullshit. At one point the church |
| Kimball of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day | | | | considered anyone who was overtly |
| Saints (1981)"Every sperm is sacred. Every sperm is | | | | passionate to his wife an adultrater. Follow that |
| great. If a sperm is wasted, God | | | | teaching and your wife |
| gets quite irate." Monty Python's The Meaning of | | | | would be committing adultery! Several clergymen |
| Life.A quote often used by various churches in an | | | | have gone on record |
| effort to contain illicit acts | | | | to say that not only the church's teachings about |
| amongst its people. Every sermon on masturbation | | | | sexuality were |
| would quote it, | | | | unrelated to the scriptures, but that they caused |
| atleast all the sermons I have heard. Under the | | | | more harm than good |
| circumstances, is it | | | | amongst people. Besides, nowhere in the religious |
| difficult to imagine masturbation as one of the | | | | teachings of any |
| biggest taboos in our | | | | major religions is masturbation considered wrong.2. |
| society? Even today? Scientific education has done a | | | | Masturbation will cause impotency.Most males and |
| little to change it. | | | | even some females seem to think so. Wrong again. |
| Does that mean men and women don't masturbate? | | | | Lets |
| Certainly not. 99% | | | | tackle the males first. It is understandable that |
| of men and 70% of women masturbate according | | | | seeing their sperm flow |
| to various studies. The | | | | out of their body, they think it may end sometime. |
| problem lies in the acceptance of the fact that you | | | | Well, it will end one |
| masturbate. Let me | | | | day... maybe when you are 100 years old. But until |
| tell you a story... a story about you.One night you | | | | then don't worry. |
| were sitting alone in your appartment eating pizza. | | | | Your sperm bank is quite unlike Standard Chartered. |
| You | | | | You have |
| decided to check out some new sites on the net | | | | unlimited credit here! Sperm is a completely |
| while you eat. So you | | | | renewable resource, |
| log on to your ISP and start surfing. Inadverantely, | | | | renewable on an hourly basis! For women, well, there |
| you come across | | | | is no basis in the |
| some piece of pornography(yes, the net is quite full | | | | theory. Probably perperated by old ladies who never |
| of it!) Looking at | | | | had an orgasm in |
| those erotic (and often downright nasty photos) | | | | their entire life!3. Masturbation causes acnes, hair |
| you feel a tingling | | | | loss, skin diseases.This one is my favorite. Mainly |
| between your legs. One thing leads to another and | | | | because it is one of the better scams of |
| you end up spoiling | | | | all times! Your social conditioning would have you |
| your underpants. Now let me tell you another | | | | believe that |
| story.One night you were sitting alone in a bar | | | | masturbation is bad for your health. But bad how? |
| drinking beer. And then a most | | | | No one would give |
| gorgeous person enters the bar. The person that | | | | you a satisfying answer! Now some scam artists |
| causes tingling | | | | saw this as an good |
| between your legs just looking at him or her. You | | | | oppurtunity to sell their products like hair growth |
| decide that you can't | | | | lotions, etc. Since most people start masturbating |
| let go of this oppurtunity to get to know this | | | | during their teens, (the times of acne and |
| wonderful creation of god. So | | | | other skin problems), they would have you believe |
| you move towards this person and start small talk. | | | | that this is caused by |
| One thing leads to | | | | masturbation! Unluckily for them, this is as untrue as |
| another and you end up in your appartment.Whether | | | | the sun rising from |
| you are a woman or a man, the next morning you | | | | the west! Masturbation has no physical side |
| wouldn't be | | | | effects!4. Masturbating will make you thin and |
| jumping with joy in the first case. When you go out | | | | skinny!Then there would be no need for diet pills and |
| in the evening to | | | | fitness regimes my friend! |
| meet your friends, you would not tell them about | | | | And most certainly 70% of USA wouldn't be |
| the hot site you found | | | | overweight!5. Only Kids masturbate!Why would you |
| and how you jerked off to it. Nevertheless, in the | | | | say that? I wonder! Well quite untrue, most adults |
| second case, you | | | | masturbate... yup even after marriage!6. Masturbation |
| would be telling anyone who cared to listen how you | | | | is for males.And it is for 70% of the women too. |
| had the most | | | | Thats right, two thirds of all females |
| wonderful experience of your life last night. Why? | | | | masturbate!7. Only losers masturbate!Another of my |
| Well, maybe because | | | | favorites. Just goes to show just how much of a |
| self pleasure is, well, nothing special. You can do it | | | | taboo is |
| anytime you want. | | | | masturbation! First thing, 99% of males and 70% of |
| Ofcourse seducing the person of your dreams is | | | | females have |
| quite an | | | | masturbated atleast once in their lives. Now that is a |
| accomplishment. No wonder you need an audience. | | | | hell of a lot of |
| But what if you | | | | losers don't you think! Nothing more that I can add |
| have a friend like me. A friend who is crazy enough | | | | really... this is really |
| to ask you did you | | | | the epitome of insecurity amongst people regarding |
| wank off yesterday night? Was it good? What | | | | self pleasure.8. Masturbation is for homosexuals.Wow. |
| would you do then? Would | | | | Where did that one originate! Someone must make a |
| you tell your friend about the hot site and your | | | | etymology of |
| experience? Would you | | | | these myths, would make for an interesting read! |
| simply say, "Yeah! It was great! What about you?" | | | | Just as untrue as all |
| Or would you pretend | | | | these myths, masturbation and homosexuality have |
| nothing had happened and lie... something like you | | | | nothing in common. |
| were somewhere | | | | Some people masturbate to their fantasies of |
| else yesterday night, or maybe lead your friend to | | | | opposite sex, others to |
| believe you got lucky | | | | their fantasies of same sex. Thats it.9. Masturbation |
| with someone?I am guessing you would do the | | | | will make you blind!Others claim that masturbation is |
| latter. Most certainly you won't | | | | bad for your eyesights. However, their |
| acknowledge the act of masturbation. Rather you | | | | claims are unsupported by facts and medical advice. |
| would evade the | | | | I suggest you talk |
| question and change the topic. And when your | | | | to your general physician and he will explain you |
| friend tells you about a | | | | what a load of bull this |
| hot conquest the same night, you would wish you | | | | is.10. Masturbation changes the shape of your |
| had a bowl of water in | | | | penisWell, it does make it rock hard. But believe me, |
| which you could drown. Shame and guilt would come | | | | once you orgasm, the |
| over you and you | | | | hardness is gone! So no. Masturbation has absolutely |
| would change the topic in double quick time. Are you | | | | no effect on how |
| crazy? Noway! | | | | your penis looks.There are loads more of these |
| You are just one of the majority. And quite a | | | | myths circulating around the world. If you |
| majority at that! Way more | | | | have a query about masturbation, ask me, I would |
| majority that what George Bush had in the last | | | | happily lay your fears |
| elections! The reason - | | | | to rest. My email is Now lets move on in an attempt |
| social conditioning!You are just like the boy who ran | | | | to get rid of your guilt. Clearly, all the |
| out of the cinema hall that was | | | | reasons that made masturbation such a taboo are |
| screening an adult film (mind you, he had no business | | | | baseless. So why |
| of being there in | | | | should you feel guilty about something that is normal |
| the first place! But all the cinemas care about is the | | | | and actually |
| sale of their tickets!)Later in the day, the friend who | | | | healthy? Healthy? Yes that too! This January, I |
| had been at the movies with him, caught | | | | recieved an email from a |
| up with him and asked, "Why in the hell's name did | | | | woman who had some major problems in her |
| you run out?" The | | | | marriage. Due to her |
| boy answered, "My mom said that if I watched a | | | | career and that of her husband, their sexual life was |
| woman getting naked I | | | | inexistant. Both |
| would turn to stone. And damn you Harry, a part of | | | | held jobs in big MNCs and were frequently out of |
| me was already | | | | town. Sometimes, they |
| turning into stone!"Unluckily, the social conditioning is | | | | would see each other once a month! Nevertheless, |
| wrong. It is as wrong as the social | | | | they were very much |
| condition in 18-19th century India, where widows | | | | in love. Her problem was, that inspite of all their love, |
| were forced to burn | | | | they were getting |
| alive with their husbands. As wrong as the church | | | | into petty fights with each other. The woman was |
| was in burning | | | | even experiencing |
| Galileo for implying the Earth was not the centre of | | | | problems during work, getting angry for no apparent |
| the universe. Lily | | | | reasons, shouting |
| Tomlin put it best, "We have reasons to believe that | | | | on her team. Her temperament was a creation of |
| man first walked | | | | the stress caused by |
| upright to free his hands for masturbation!" If god | | | | extensive work and lack of pleasurable activities. |
| didn't want us to | | | | Add to that sexual |
| masturbate, maybe we would still be walking like | | | | frustration.My advice to her was twofold. First, I told |
| dogs and horses!The social conditioning is a result of | | | | her that she would have to slow |
| numerous myths, lies and scams | | | | down, and so should her husband. They must make |
| perperated by numerous individuals for personal | | | | time for their |
| benefit. Unfortunately, | | | | hobbies, maybe try and get in some physical |
| this conditioning is like a hard nut, very tough to | | | | exercise when they could. |
| crack. However, with | | | | Most certainly, they needed to see more of each |
| effort and chanelising your energies, you can break | | | | other. They should |
| it. Remember, the | | | | onsider talking off a couple of days and just be |
| nuts that crack the hardest, are often the ones that | | | | together. Second, while |
| taste the best! You | | | | she was alone, she should consider fantasy therapy. |
| must be wondering, how the hell does it matter if | | | | Namely, reading |
| you feel guilty about | | | | erotic novels, watching erotic movies... exciting |
| masturbation. Why should you spend time breaking | | | | herself and eventually |
| this casing?Certain psychologists believe that guilt | | | | masturbating as regularly as she could. Three months |
| conscious, whether sexual guilt | | | | later, I recieved a |
| or in any other form, is the most destructive | | | | thank you letter from her. Apparently she had put |
| element for your mental | | | | my advice to practice |
| health. Others believe it is one of the most | | | | (which is quite rare!) and it had actually helped. |
| destructive. But the greatest | | | | (Which is not so rare!)How did masturbating help her? |
| effect of guilt conscious in my experience has been | | | | Because most of her problems arose |
| a lack of confidence | | | | from stress and lack of physical activities. And |
| in self. Now you are an intelligent reader. I don't need | | | | masturbation, like sex, is |
| to explain you the | | | | the perfect medicing. When you orgasm, your mind |
| importance of self confidence. Be it your career, | | | | gets cleared of the |
| relationships or any | | | | regular day to day problems. Your body gets |
| other aspect of life, lack of confidence can bring | | | | excited and the blood flow |
| your downfall. Now I am | | | | increases. Sometimes, you even sweat! A complete |
| not implying that should you start to feel more | | | | and perfect exercise |
| comfortable about | | | | for those with lack of time!The next step in getting |
| masturbation, you would succeed in all aspects of | | | | rid of your guilt is self belief. Something, no |
| life. But it would be a | | | | outsider can help you with. Here is what I would |
| nice step to take. An useless guilt that should, and | | | | counsel. Read as many |
| can be eradicated | | | | articles on the internet as you can relating to |
| from your mind. Remember, an ocean is made of | | | | masturbation. Just so that |
| small droplets of | | | | you know that I am not bullshitting you. Any queries |
| water. Get rid of a drop at a time and in due time, | | | | you have, don't be |
| the ocean would be | | | | afraid to ask me or another sex advisor on any of |
| empty! Ofcourse it would take several millenia! | | | | the reputed websites. |
| Luckily, you don't have | | | | Remember, the first step is knowledge and the |
| an ocean full of guily! Just some naggings here and | | | | second step is belief. |
| there!The first step towards eradication of this guilt is | | | | And knowledge leads to belief. Good Wanking!Dr. |
| knowledge. There are | | | | Jessica Stumper is a columnist for The Pornography |
| thousands of myths around masturbation. Most of | | | | Times ( She writes a sex health and techniques |
| them perperated by | | | | column on the website. |