| We all know that there is a distinct | | | | you are just another woman. How could |
| difference between the way men and women | | | | you possible be anyone of import?Let's |
| communicate in business. But what about | | | | explore this mindset. Have you ever |
| woman to woman communication? Who talks | | | | found yourself in a predominately male |
| about the way women deal with each other | | | | crowd with a few women sprinkled |
| in their communications? It's not all | | | | throughout? Did you find yourself |
| that pretty and proper like some would | | | | gravitating toward the men and ignoring |
| have you believe.I'm always astounded | | | | the women? I have done that. Why with my |
| when I read a feel good article that | | | | vast experience am I engaging in this |
| talks about women dealing with other | | | | behavior? I've been conditioned. We all |
| women. You know all about the mysterious | | | | have! With so few business women in the |
| women who have never had a problem, | | | | male dominated business environment, I |
| exchanged a cross word or damaged a | | | | am forced to make snap decisions about |
| relationship. Where do these women live? | | | | the women in the room. Why are they |
| In La La Land.I have worked almost | | | | there? Are they any help? What is their |
| exclusively with women for 10 years and | | | | purpose? Given that they are a woman |
| have encountered almost every | | | | too; can they be of any significance? |
| conceivable behavior both good and bad. | | | | Did I scrutinize their appearance? You |
| I am bombarded with calls and emails | | | | bet. I checked her out down to the last |
| every day that run the gamut. The | | | | detail. Interesting analysis, huh? |
| repeating links that stand out are the | | | | That's what the gate keeper is thinking |
| lack of professionalism, support and | | | | about you!One unfortunate communication |
| empathy that is evoked from women.The | | | | characteristic most of us have |
| simple truth is that women's dealing | | | | encountered from another woman is the |
| with other women is a very complex | | | | one who delivers as the ugly green-eyed |
| connection. Many factors influence our | | | | monster: jealously. Consciously or |
| communication style some of which have | | | | unconsciously we evaluate and compare |
| been inbred from when we were small | | | | our successes or failures with others in |
| children. We can't change those | | | | our circle of acquaintances or even high |
| influences now but we can pattern | | | | profile women whole accomplishments we |
| ourselves to think before we speak and | | | | can never hope to replicate. Making |
| work within the boundaries of shared | | | | these assessments puts a slant on our |
| experiences.Think of your communication | | | | communication style. If someone is more |
| in terms of the roles you play in your | | | | successful r has a higher profile, we |
| relationships: businesswoman, confidant, | | | | automatically assume the worst. Our |
| wife, mother, friend, sister, boss, | | | | suspicious minds want to know how she |
| associate, colleague and so on. Each | | | | got there. We think she must be sleeping |
| character requires a different persona | | | | with the boss, have the goods on someone |
| and different style of communication. Be | | | | in the company or is the "token" women |
| prepared to support that part in your | | | | (not to worry you are not alone men have |
| communication style. Speaking gives you | | | | these same thoughts too). Get over |
| more ways to legitimize your | | | | yourself! She won!! Maybe you can't |
| communication context. If you are | | | | control the emotion but you can keep |
| verbally communicating face to face, | | | | from interjecting the thoughts into the |
| body language, inflection, eye contact | | | | tenor of your conversation. Think |
| and (most important) overall appearance | | | | before you speak. Dispel any |
| can sway the recipient before you even | | | | preconceived notions about the person |
| open your mouth.Let's start by talking | | | | you are speaking to which might distort |
| about how women communicate. In our time | | | | the message you are conveying. Engage |
| crunched, stressed-out over-committed | | | | some benign small talk while you marshal |
| lives we rarely communicate in a | | | | your thoughts. Put yourselves on equal |
| proactive way. When we reach out to | | | | footing. It's an old saying, but it |
| other women, it's usually because we | | | | resounds with truth: She puts her pants |
| need something (not because we are | | | | on one leg at a time just like you |
| staying in touch). Establishing a bond | | | | do.Moving on, what about the convenient |
| before you actually need something will | | | | non-communicator? Have you ever had an |
| greatly increase your chance of positive | | | | associate who worked her way to the top |
| communication. One method I find highly | | | | of the company only to disassociate |
| successful is staying in touch through a | | | | herself with those at a lower level? I |
| weekly ezine that I write and | | | | know such a person. She went so far as |
| distribute. The ezine includes helpful | | | | to say to me, "I don't have time to |
| tips and information. When I send it, | | | | associate with any one not at my level |
| I'm not asking for anything. I'm working | | | | on the food chain." I've known this |
| toward building a rapport and | | | | person a long time and until this she |
| establishing a familiarity. The truth is | | | | was just a regular "gal." This |
| that this will be to my benefit at the | | | | phenomenon is much more prevalent than |
| time when I might need assistance. | | | | you think. Psychologists named it |
| Whether the recipient reads my column or | | | | "drawbridge syndrome." You bring up the |
| not, they get a weekly communiqué that | | | | bridge behind you as you cross it and |
| builds brand awareness of who I am and | | | | advance up the corporate ladder. Don't |
| what I stand for. One sure way to build | | | | let this happen to you. Remember where |
| an affiliation that is not based on need | | | | you came from. Be true to yourself and |
| is to send a person a note commenting on | | | | those who support you. Treat all women |
| a job well done, an award, a promotion | | | | with equal respect no matter how high |
| or other newsworthy event in their life. | | | | you climb on the ladder to success.A |
| People love to be flattered and even the | | | | glaring problem with women's |
| most hardened profession likes to be | | | | communication is that on the receiving |
| told she is making a difference.Along | | | | end, we take everything personally. |
| the same lines of selfish communication | | | | Whether it's an unfavorable reply, a |
| comes from women who want to do business | | | | statement about a situation, or an issue |
| with you. In my case, it's women who | | | | to be resolved many women take it as a |
| want to do business with me expect me to | | | | personal affront. Wrong! What is |
| do all the work. They go to my website | | | | happening is business. It may be good |
| and find out all about me and become a | | | | business practice and has nothing to do |
| star catcher. Well, this is annoying to | | | | with you personally.Here are some |
| me. The fact is that when doing business | | | | successful methods to open a door for a |
| you have to be prepared to hold up your | | | | long-lived relationship.- Get a |
| end. Get to the point immediately. Tell | | | | referral from someone who already knows |
| the receiver who you are and what you | | | | you or is working with the person you |
| can do for them - not what you expect | | | | are trying to foster. Communication by |
| them to do for you. Keep your | | | | word of mouth is a strong influencing |
| communication benefits driven. Don't go | | | | factor among women. A referral gives you |
| in blind. The entire time you are | | | | instant credibility.- Ask for |
| communicating with someone in business, | | | | assistance or help with a project. |
| they are thinking WIIFM (what's in it | | | | Depending upon the type of appeal you |
| for me).On this front, a reactive common | | | | make will influence your success rate. |
| communication issue is our response when | | | | Make your request short and sweet with |
| we hear from someone out of the blue who | | | | clear cut benefits to them with solid |
| wants a favor. We know that they came | | | | results. "You will get X for your |
| out of no where and want something, but | | | | help."- Use humor. It lightens the |
| will never return the favor. Forget all | | | | moment and softens the situation. This |
| that hocus pocus about good deeds being | | | | works well when you have committed a |
| returned. The plain and simple truth is | | | | faux pas.- Make a clever, |
| that it doesn't work and that serves to | | | | interesting, or powerful statement. |
| build hidden resentment. If someone asks | | | | Remember women are busy and |
| a favor and you expect it to be | | | | multitasking. Capture their attention |
| returned, then communicate the trade up | | | | with an important message.- When you |
| front. Call it reciprocity or whatever | | | | receive or experience an unsavory |
| you like. Just make sure the person | | | | communiqué, let it rest before you |
| understands the handshaking going into | | | | respond. Women are notorious to come |
| the bargain.Email communication is | | | | back with clever repartee.On occasion, |
| doubly hard because we all carry the | | | | even the great communicator still won't |
| baggage of preconceived notions about a | | | | get it with another woman. I recently |
| person's message. This is the case even | | | | sent a message to my readers that was |
| when we have never met them! We are | | | | quite funny. 95% of the people thought |
| judged by the written language used to | | | | it so and replied with that thought in |
| communicate. Spend time carefully | | | | mind. The other 5% let me know that they |
| crafting your written communications. | | | | thought the message abrasive, arrogant |
| Would you be offended if some one wrote | | | | and condescending. The fact is that you |
| the same thing to you? Is there | | | | are never going to please ever woman you |
| something you would read into the | | | | interact with. There are some women you |
| message? We have become notoriously lax | | | | will never "connect with" despite your |
| in business etiquette in our email | | | | best effort. My advice? Move on to the |
| correspondence because it's so easy to | | | | next relationship and put the |
| use. Before you hit that send button, | | | | unsuccessful one on the back burner. |
| think about what you are writing and how | | | | Don't destroy it with a nasty, |
| you are communicating it.One of the most | | | | condescending (responsive) |
| common written communication errors is | | | | rebuttal.Above all think before you |
| to either misspell or get someone's name | | | | communicate with another woman. Run the |
| wrong. For example, we may use Katherine | | | | sound byte through your head before you |
| instead of Catherine or Kathleen instead | | | | open your mouth. How does it sound to |
| of Caitlyn. For some unknown reason | | | | you? Would you be offended or |
| women freak out over this misstep. Some | | | | antagonized if someone said the same to |
| of the nastiest messages I ever received | | | | you? Is your connection on a deeper |
| resulted from making this type of simple | | | | level? Do you clearly state a benefit? |
| error. If this happens to you, apologize | | | | Remember it's not always what you |
| and move on. If this mistake has soured | | | | communicate, but the method and manner |
| the relationship, accept that nothing | | | | in which you communicate it.Discover the |
| will salvage it.What about our covert | | | | easy way to make yourself stand out from |
| communication techniques? During my | | | | others. How to become an expert in your |
| sales days in calling on women in a | | | | field; How to write a better resume; How |
| decision making role, I constantly ran | | | | to write a personal press release; How |
| into a brick wall with the gate keeper. | | | | to accomplish things no one else is |
| Have you encountered this gate keeper? | | | | doing and to get people to think about |
| It is like Cerberus guarding the inner | | | | you in ways they have not thought before |
| sanctum. How frustrating is that when | | | | and much more including critical |
| you know you have something of value to | | | | checklists for those important business |
| offer? Seriously, we have all had the | | | | meetings.This indispensable workbook |
| experience of trying to soothe or | | | | will show you specific ways to |
| nurture that bull dog guarding their | | | | accomplish your personal branding goals |
| master. And worst of all is the abrupt, | | | | and launch your career into the |
| abrasive, antagonistic women that let's | | | | stratosphere. We have done all the work |
| our male counterpart waltz though the | | | | for you with guidelines, cheat sheets |
| door.How do you overcome the sentinel | | | | and easy-to-use templates to customize |
| posted between you and your mark? Simply | | | | for your own use.So don't put off |
| put, you have to cultivate the | | | | building your brand any longer. Don't |
| gatekeeper before you can engage in any | | | | wait till your associates get your |
| meaningful dialogue. Why is this person | | | | promotion or raise or even a better |
| so suspicious and wary of your | | | | job.Order Packaging Yourself now @ you |
| intentions anyway? It is important to | | | | find that the strategies and tactics in |
| remember she is protecting her turf. Her | | | | these materials don't work for you or in |
| role is to keep out unwanted persons | | | | your business, we don't feel like we |
| from making it to the next level. Why | | | | should keep your money. We want you to |
| does she consider you unworthy? She | | | | try them for 30 days with zero risk. |
| considers you insignificant; after all | | | | |