| We all know that there is a distinct difference | | | | She considers you insignificant; after all you are just |
| between the way men and women communicate in | | | | another woman. How could you possible be anyone |
| business. But what about woman to woman | | | | of import?Let's explore this mindset. Have you ever |
| communication? Who talks about the way women | | | | found yourself in a predominately male crowd with a |
| deal with each other in their communications? It's not | | | | few women sprinkled throughout? Did you find |
| all that pretty and proper like some would have you | | | | yourself gravitating toward the men and ignoring the |
| believe.I'm always astounded when I read a feel | | | | women? I have done that. Why with my vast |
| good article that talks about women dealing with | | | | experience am I engaging in this behavior? I've been |
| other women. You know all about the mysterious | | | | conditioned. We all have! With so few business |
| women who have never had a problem, exchanged a | | | | women in the male dominated business environment, |
| cross word or damaged a relationship. Where do | | | | I am forced to make snap decisions about the |
| these women live? In La La Land.I have worked | | | | women in the room. Why are they there? Are they |
| almost exclusively with women for 10 years and | | | | any help? What is their purpose? Given that they are |
| have encountered almost every conceivable behavior | | | | a woman too; can they be of any significance? Did I |
| both good and bad. I am bombarded with calls and | | | | scrutinize their appearance? You bet. I checked her |
| emails every day that run the gamut. The repeating | | | | out down to the last detail. Interesting analysis, huh? |
| links that stand out are the lack of professionalism, | | | | That's what the gate keeper is thinking about |
| support and empathy that is evoked from | | | | you!One unfortunate communication characteristic |
| women.The simple truth is that women's dealing with | | | | most of us have encountered from another woman |
| other women is a very complex connection. Many | | | | is the one who delivers as the ugly green-eyed |
| factors influence our communication style some of | | | | monster: jealously. Consciously or unconsciously we |
| which have been inbred from when we were small | | | | evaluate and compare our successes or failures with |
| children. We can't change those influences now but | | | | others in our circle of acquaintances or even high |
| we can pattern ourselves to think before we speak | | | | profile women whole accomplishments we can never |
| and work within the boundaries of shared | | | | hope to replicate. Making these assessments puts a |
| experiences.Think of your communication in terms of | | | | slant on our communication style. If someone is more |
| the roles you play in your relationships: | | | | successful r has a higher profile, we automatically |
| businesswoman, confidant, wife, mother, friend, | | | | assume the worst. Our suspicious minds want to |
| sister, boss, associate, colleague and so on. Each | | | | know how she got there. We think she must be |
| character requires a different persona and different | | | | sleeping with the boss, have the goods on someone |
| style of communication. Be prepared to support that | | | | in the company or is the "token" women (not to |
| part in your communication style. Speaking gives you | | | | worry you are not alone men have these same |
| more ways to legitimize your communication context. | | | | thoughts too). Get over yourself! She won!! Maybe |
| If you are verbally communicating face to face, body | | | | you can't control the emotion but you can keep from |
| language, inflection, eye contact and (most | | | | interjecting the thoughts into the tenor of your |
| important) overall appearance can sway the recipient | | | | conversation. Think before you speak. Dispel any |
| before you even open your mouth.Let's start by | | | | preconceived notions about the person you are |
| talking about how women communicate. In our time | | | | speaking to which might distort the message you are |
| crunched, stressed-out over-committed lives we | | | | conveying. Engage some benign small talk while you |
| rarely communicate in a proactive way. When we | | | | marshal your thoughts. Put yourselves on equal |
| reach out to other women, it's usually because we | | | | footing. It's an old saying, but it resounds with truth: |
| need something (not because we are staying in | | | | She puts her pants on one leg at a time just like you |
| touch). Establishing a bond before you actually need | | | | do.Moving on, what about the convenient |
| something will greatly increase your chance of | | | | non-communicator? Have you ever had an associate |
| positive communication. One method I find highly | | | | who worked her way to the top of the company |
| successful is staying in touch through a weekly ezine | | | | only to disassociate herself with those at a lower |
| that I write and distribute. The ezine includes helpful | | | | level? I know such a person. She went so far as to |
| tips and information. When I send it, I'm not asking | | | | say to me, "I don't have time to associate with any |
| for anything. I'm working toward building a rapport | | | | one not at my level on the food chain." I've known |
| and establishing a familiarity. The truth is that this will | | | | this person a long time and until this she was just a |
| be to my benefit at the time when I might need | | | | regular "gal." This phenomenon is much more |
| assistance. Whether the recipient reads my column or | | | | prevalent than you think. Psychologists named it |
| not, they get a weekly communiqué that builds | | | | "drawbridge syndrome." You bring up the bridge |
| brand awareness of who I am and what I stand for. | | | | behind you as you cross it and advance up the |
| One sure way to build an affiliation that is not based | | | | corporate ladder. Don't let this happen to you. |
| on need is to send a person a note commenting on a | | | | Remember where you came from. Be true to |
| job well done, an award, a promotion or other | | | | yourself and those who support you. Treat all |
| newsworthy event in their life. People love to be | | | | women with equal respect no matter how high you |
| flattered and even the most hardened profession | | | | climb on the ladder to success.A glaring problem with |
| likes to be told she is making a difference.Along the | | | | women's communication is that on the receiving end, |
| same lines of selfish communication comes from | | | | we take everything personally. Whether it's an |
| women who want to do business with you. In my | | | | unfavorable reply, a statement about a situation, or |
| case, it's women who want to do business with me | | | | an issue to be resolved many women take it as a |
| expect me to do all the work. They go to my | | | | personal affront. Wrong! What is happening is |
| website and find out all about me and become a star | | | | business. It may be good business practice and has |
| catcher. Well, this is annoying to me. The fact is that | | | | nothing to do with you personally.Here are some |
| when doing business you have to be prepared to | | | | successful methods to open a door for a long-lived |
| hold up your end. Get to the point immediately. Tell | | | | relationship.- Get a referral from someone who |
| the receiver who you are and what you can do for | | | | already knows you or is working with the person you |
| them - not what you expect them to do for you. | | | | are trying to foster. Communication by word of |
| Keep your communication benefits driven. Don't go in | | | | mouth is a strong influencing factor among women. A |
| blind. The entire time you are communicating with | | | | referral gives you instant credibility.- Ask for |
| someone in business, they are thinking WIIFM (what's | | | | assistance or help with a project. Depending upon the |
| in it for me).On this front, a reactive common | | | | type of appeal you make will influence your success |
| communication issue is our response when we hear | | | | rate. Make your request short and sweet with clear |
| from someone out of the blue who wants a favor. | | | | cut benefits to them with solid results. "You will get X |
| We know that they came out of no where and | | | | for your help."- Use humor. It lightens the moment |
| want something, but will never return the favor. | | | | and softens the situation. This works well when you |
| Forget all that hocus pocus about good deeds being | | | | have committed a faux pas.- Make a clever, |
| returned. The plain and simple truth is that it doesn't | | | | interesting, or powerful statement. Remember |
| work and that serves to build hidden resentment. If | | | | women are busy and multitasking. Capture their |
| someone asks a favor and you expect it to be | | | | attention with an important message.- When you |
| returned, then communicate the trade up front. Call it | | | | receive or experience an unsavory |
| reciprocity or whatever you like. Just make sure the | | | | communiqué, let it rest before you respond. |
| person understands the handshaking going into the | | | | Women are notorious to come back with clever |
| bargain.Email communication is doubly hard because | | | | repartee.On occasion, even the great communicator |
| we all carry the baggage of preconceived notions | | | | still won't get it with another woman. I recently sent |
| about a person's message. This is the case even | | | | a message to my readers that was quite funny. 95% |
| when we have never met them! We are judged by | | | | of the people thought it so and replied with that |
| the written language used to communicate. Spend | | | | thought in mind. The other 5% let me know that |
| time carefully crafting your written communications. | | | | they thought the message abrasive, arrogant and |
| Would you be offended if some one wrote the | | | | condescending. The fact is that you are never going |
| same thing to you? Is there something you would | | | | to please ever woman you interact with. There are |
| read into the message? We have become notoriously | | | | some women you will never "connect with" despite |
| lax in business etiquette in our email correspondence | | | | your best effort. My advice? Move on to the next |
| because it's so easy to use. Before you hit that send | | | | relationship and put the unsuccessful one on the back |
| button, think about what you are writing and how | | | | burner. Don't destroy it with a nasty, condescending |
| you are communicating it.One of the most common | | | | (responsive) rebuttal.Above all think before you |
| written communication errors is to either misspell or | | | | communicate with another woman. Run the sound |
| get someone's name wrong. For example, we may | | | | byte through your head before you open your |
| use Katherine instead of Catherine or Kathleen | | | | mouth. How does it sound to you? Would you be |
| instead of Caitlyn. For some unknown reason women | | | | offended or antagonized if someone said the same |
| freak out over this misstep. Some of the nastiest | | | | to you? Is your connection on a deeper level? Do |
| messages I ever received resulted from making this | | | | you clearly state a benefit? Remember it's not |
| type of simple error. If this happens to you, apologize | | | | always what you communicate, but the method and |
| and move on. If this mistake has soured the | | | | manner in which you communicate it.Discover the |
| relationship, accept that nothing will salvage it.What | | | | easy way to make yourself stand out from others. |
| about our covert communication techniques? During | | | | How to become an expert in your field; How to |
| my sales days in calling on women in a decision | | | | write a better resume; How to write a personal |
| making role, I constantly ran into a brick wall with the | | | | press release; How to accomplish things no one else |
| gate keeper. Have you encountered this gate | | | | is doing and to get people to think about you in |
| keeper? It is like Cerberus guarding the inner | | | | ways they have not thought before and much more |
| sanctum. How frustrating is that when you know you | | | | including critical checklists for those important |
| have something of value to offer? Seriously, we | | | | business meetings.This indispensable workbook will |
| have all had the experience of trying to soothe or | | | | show you specific ways to accomplish your personal |
| nurture that bull dog guarding their master. And worst | | | | branding goals and launch your career into the |
| of all is the abrupt, abrasive, antagonistic women that | | | | stratosphere. We have done all the work for you |
| let's our male counterpart waltz though the door.How | | | | with guidelines, cheat sheets and easy-to-use |
| do you overcome the sentinel posted between you | | | | templates to customize for your own use.So don't |
| and your mark? Simply put, you have to cultivate the | | | | put off building your brand any longer. Don't wait till |
| gatekeeper before you can engage in any meaningful | | | | your associates get your promotion or raise or even |
| dialogue. Why is this person so suspicious and wary | | | | a better job.Order Packaging Yourself now @ you |
| of your intentions anyway? It is important to | | | | find that the strategies and tactics in these materials |
| remember she is protecting her turf. Her role is to | | | | don't work for you or in your business, we don't feel |
| keep out unwanted persons from making it to the | | | | like we should keep your money. We want you to |
| next level. Why does she consider you unworthy? | | | | try them for 30 days with zero risk. |