| A few years ago, the experts in my field of | | | | dignity and grace. |
| psychology and psychiatry finally realized what | | | | She's always there for her children. She is a faithful |
| everyone already knows--and published it in our main | | | | and loving wife. She serves others in the community |
| diagnostic manuals. | | | | and has raised a lot of money for people who are |
| They looked at the experiences of trauma and pain | | | | more fortunate than she is. |
| and recognized that everyone is different, and that | | | | Now has your attitude toward her shifted a little? |
| you can't define trauma and pain in general terms | | | | Now take into account that her own image of herself |
| that apply to everyone. | | | | is extremely negative. She really believes she is fat |
| Everyone feels pain differently and uniquely. What | | | | and ugly, and suffers with that thought every single |
| one person calls pain, another might call pleasure. | | | | moment of every single day. |
| What one person calls pain, another might just feel | | | | Who among us is saintly enough to define courage? |
| as a good stress on the muscles or something that | | | | Courage is a very individual thing, just as pain and |
| makes them feel alive. | | | | trauma are. |
| As a simple example, my fishing buddy's wife just | | | | What to one person might feel easy and simple to |
| plain dislikes discomfort. He and I will go out very | | | | another person might seem incredibly difficult and |
| very early in the morning on the coldest and most | | | | strenuous and even impossible. To me skydiving |
| "dreary" days and just dig it like nobody's business! | | | | seems like an absolute impossibility...but to some it |
| It just makes us feel alive to be in the elements like | | | | seems like the most wonderful thing ever invented. |
| that. His wife thinks we are crazy, and we think we | | | | What seems incredibly frightening and devastating to |
| are the sanest we ever are when we are out in that | | | | one person, another will find challenging and even fun. |
| stuff. | | | | When my neighbor's house burned to the ground |
| We like it and feel great. | | | | two years ago, I was surprised to find him pretty |
| In my practice over the years I've met many | | | | happy about it. He said, "I get to start over!" |
| astounding individuals who could give us all lessons in | | | | He was thrilled. I probably would have been |
| the uniqueness of pain. This is where personal | | | | shattered. |
| courage comes in. | | | | I can, however, make one general statement about |
| Charles had been badly injured at work. He worked | | | | courage, of which I am absolutely certain...and know |
| as a mechanic, and a lift had failed and crushed his | | | | no one can dispute. |
| leg, gave him a brain injury, and left his arm partially | | | | That is, whatever and whoever you are, there's |
| paralyzed. He could no longer work and had been | | | | some very important part of you waiting to be |
| denied workers's commpensation through a poor | | | | explored and discovered...something which will make |
| choice of attorneys and an unfavorable court. | | | | you a far better person and will give you incredible |
| He had very little money and no prospects. He had | | | | joy and growth, if you will take it on--- |
| loved working but now couldn't be a mechanic... yet | | | | And whatever that thing is waiting to be discovered |
| he still has a great attitude about life. He doesn't | | | | is something which every time you think about it, |
| consider himself a victim. He faces each day with | | | | gives you the shivers and scares the daylight out of |
| hope and interest, despite continuous pain and an | | | | you. |
| inability to do the work he loved so much. | | | | That's how you can tell if it is important... it scares |
| He seems like an easy candidate for personal hero of | | | | the daylight out of you to think about doing it! Yet |
| the year, and is inspiring to others. | | | | you feel a draw to it, and feel that if only you could |
| On the other hand, Sari is living what anyone might | | | | do it, you would be a better and happier person. |
| consider a charmed life. She is married and has two | | | | Courage is facing this part of who you are, and |
| beautiful children, and lots of money. Her health is | | | | which is crying out in you to be developed. I don't |
| generally good, but day and night she worries about | | | | know what that is for you...that's the unique part of |
| her weight. | | | | the equation! |
| She feels fat and believes she is fat. By most | | | | But I do know that whatever it is, you'd better think |
| people's standards, she isn't, but to her, she is. And | | | | about doing it, and starting right this very day. |
| she suffers continuously with this thought. | | | | Or you will regret it later. Courage is just facing the |
| It debilitates her and puts up a roadblock for her on | | | | call to be who we really and truly are, but have held |
| almost everything she tries to do. | | | | ourselves back from being. Face those fears, go |
| Would you consider her a coward, or pampered or | | | | ahead and take on the new and feared thing. Find |
| spoiled? If so, you are very prejudiced! Because the | | | | your own way. |
| Sari I know goes on about everything she does with | | | | Not tomorrow. Today. |