| For younger weight loss surgery patients meeting | | | | had a thin body to match my "pretty face" I moved |
| and dating someone is a great motivator to lose | | | | in on that feeling and went wild making up for lost |
| weight. This is natural: we are a species that mates, | | | | time. I became a flirt and a charmer, a real tart. |
| often for life. But we are a picky species seeking the | | | | Suddenly I was one of the girls I used to hate, the |
| prettiest and brightest for our mate. That's why | | | | kind who never buys her own drink or dinner, the girl |
| many of us who grew up overweight feel rejected | | | | who is the social hub of the office. I told myself life |
| by the species. | | | | isn't fair and for such a long time I was on the |
| Overweight children who become overweight adults | | | | rejection side of unfair, now it was my time to take. |
| almost universally say they did not date during their | | | | At last I was a member of the secret society of |
| teenage years. Too fat. Too shy. Fear of rejection. | | | | pretty people." |
| We want to think our society has evolved beyond | | | | Weight loss surgery counselors report this is not |
| the superficial, that we will be loved for who we are | | | | uncommon, though they suspect more patients |
| inside. Do you remember your mother saying, "Pretty | | | | experience this euphoria than just those who are |
| on the inside is what counts." I heard that often and | | | | talking about it. One counselor for a renowned |
| it confirmed what I already knew, I wasn't one of | | | | bariatric center told me, "You know who they are |
| the pretty people. | | | | when they come for their follow-up. They are |
| Studies confirm that our evolved species is jaundiced | | | | wearing sassy clothes and they have hairstyles and |
| against the overweight. Nowhere is this more evident | | | | make-up. These are the girls we saw a year before |
| than in the dating and mating of young people. One | | | | in bib-overalls without make-up wearing their hair in a |
| LivingAfterWLS community member, Connie*, now a | | | | ponytail. Now they've lost this weight and blossomed |
| svelte size 6 at age 30 told me, "As a teenager it | | | | into gorgeous women and they are on the prowl |
| never occurred to me that I would go on a date. I | | | | making up for lost time." |
| knew I didn't qualify because I was fat. I simply | | | | Post-op Romeos |
| accepted the fact that I was fat, unworthy and ugly | | | | Counselors tell me it's not just the women who |
| simply because I weighed more than the girls my | | | | transform. This counselor has seen her share of |
| age." She went through high school and college never | | | | "post-op Romeos." Overweight men are notoriously |
| dating. | | | | the "funny guy" who is loud and often the brunt of |
| I saw pictures of Connie in high school. She was a | | | | the joke. Evan*, a WLS-Romeo told me, "I used to |
| pretty teenager and a bit chubby. But she perceived | | | | make the fat joke before someone else did." Evan |
| herself as ugly and unworthy. Did she make herself | | | | was wearing tailored trousers, a perfectly pressed |
| unreachable by hiding in her obesity and self-loathing? | | | | shirt and tasseled loafers. He was indeed handsome. |
| Or did a prejudice society cause her to retreat within | | | | He said, "I never dated, never even considered it. |
| herself? Perhaps a little of both. | | | | Who would want to date a whale?" he asked poking |
| Girls Gone Wild | | | | fun at his former self. "Now I have ladies flocking to |
| When the same people who suffered this rejection | | | | me and my motto - 'Love them all.' I'm not sure this |
| and self loathing through adolescence lose weight | | | | [weight loss] is going to last so I'm not wasting any |
| they often report a euphoria as they enter the world | | | | time. 'Love them all' " he repeated. |
| of "the normal." Connie told me, "When I realized I | | | | *Names changed per request of the subjects. |